She was shy... I was outgoing. She was careful... I was carefree...I had a long chat with Bing last night. She asked me one thing that was disturbing her mind. "How come I'm so scared to take plunge and walk down the aisle...?" Being the usual me, I gave her one specific answer followed by a barrage of examples.
..."Bing, you're scared of marriage because... uh..." Yeah, that was my answer. Lame? Maybe. For the record, she takes full credit for backing out twice at the last minute. At the last minute for each guy. Well, I exactly don't uderstand my bestfriend this time around. She's happy with her life... happy though lonely... but still... Anyway, so I started my usual let's-analyse-and-see-if-we-can-find-a-logical-conclusion litany. Her first real serious relationship was with a guy who actually had another serious thing going on with a girl she often saw in school. Was she aware of it? Sure she was. Hmmm, next. She fell in love with a guy who was near perfect except for 1 flaw. He thought he wanted to experience being worldly... and broke up with her. Right love at the wrong time..? Maybe... Too bad when he finaly realized that you don't have to dump your ever loyal girlfriend, she has already moved on. Touche! Ooook, next! Bing's started dating her soon to be first fiancee by agreeing to a long distance relationship signed through snail mail. Long phone calls and equally long letters resulted in her first ritualistic asking of hand. To make the long story short, if you noticed that i said FIRST fiancee... i didn't say that with no reason. Yeah, she backed out. Oh well.... next! "Next" came not after a few years of soul searching, self-searching, and literally going-out searching. Then came StarApple. He's part of our growing up years. They started to date... lost communication... went free flowing... met again... dated again... then decided to get married. Ok, 2nd fiancee actually turned out to be a nightmare... Don't ask why and how coz i won't let you in the big hoolabaloo.
Now all those so called significant relationship first hand experiences partnered with a sarcastically philosophical maritally separated bestfriend #1, 8 year engagement and a current financially difficult family life bestfriend #2, seemingly stereotypical catholic convert for married bestfriend #3, a handful of funny, lovable cheating married boy friends, a mom who discovered the joy of being socially vicible with a new set of younger friends minus her husband... on and on and on... I wonder why she doesn't know why she's scared of being married. Ha!
My bestfriend, Bing. We're so alike in that we are so different. So ok, I wasn't able to give me a direct surefire answer. I plead guilty. Now.... hmmm.. I'm actually now wondering why I wasn't able to answer her with all my so called logic and hands-on wisdom. The truth is, I'm wondering about me as it is. Do I wanna get married again..? How come I'm not finding it desirable to be in a committed relationship right now? I used to believe that I don't wanna die old and alone. Did I really have a change of heart? When????? Maybe I should change sexual orientation, hahahha! JOKEEEEE!!!
Again... my bestfriend, Bing. We're so alike in that we are so different. The difference in our similarity? She's scared of commitment with no actual experience. Me, I'm scared of commitment coz I had experienced it. Mind you, not just once. "Hahahaha" again. Maybe I should tell Bing to ask me again why she can't seem to commit. Who knows, perhaps this time i'll be able to give a logical surefire direct answer... or maybe not. CHEERS!
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